


In Name of Desperation

by Naferty



Category: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Alpha Steve Rogers, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Feral Behavior, Hurt Tony Stark, M/M, Mild Blood, Minor Bucky Barnes/Sam Wilson, Omega Tony Stark, Rage
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-10
Updated: 2021-01-10
Packaged: 2021-03-13 18:55:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,779
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28658331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Naferty/pseuds/Naferty
Summary: It's not a common thing to do, Alphas going feral. Their rage commands their bodies while their desperation and fear give it its prey.It changes an Alpha. Changes them for the worst. Marks them in the eyes of all.Steve goes feral once while in captivity, and a scene of carnage, violence, and blood is left behind him.
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Comments: 14
Kudos: 183





	1. Chapter 1

_(Moodboard by Summerpipedream)_

_~~~~~~~~~~_

Steve goes into a feral state while in captivity. 

It’s not a common thing to do, going feral. It’s very rare but extremely dangerous, leaving sorrow and pain behind. Changing the alpha. Changing their very being. Many fall victim to an alpha in rage. To them losing their minds and reaching a point of uncontrolled anger. To them having no say over what their bodies do. 

Feral alphas have their rage command their bodies while their desperation and fear give it its prey.

Steve goes feral once and a scene of carnage, of violence, with blood everywhere, is left behind him. 

He is captured, sedated and taken to parts unknown. Left tied up with no way of escaping his binds. Not with what they pump him with. Not when his binds are catered to him and only him. His kidnappers are prepared for a supersoldier. They have him immobile to the point where he can’t wiggle his fingers. Steve is stuck there, waiting to learn what his kidnappers want from him. 

He stays in this state for hours with only his mind to entertain himself and the sounds of footsteps and metal clinking to keep him company.

The door eventually opens and people walk in. All alphas. All wearing gear. All carrying guns and holstered batons. It raises Steve’s hackles. He’s ready for anything. Has been for the past three hours. If these alphas want to torture him for information he’s ready. If they want to study him, poke and prod, he’s ready. Anything they want, he’s ready to fight. To endure. To never give in. 

What he’s not ready for is watching something dragged in along with this group of alphas. They drop a limp body before him. Battered and bruised already. Smelling of fear. Smelling familiar. The scent, he recognizes. It makes his blood boil. His pulse quickens. He begs it not to be true, but the reality is staring him in the face.

They have Tony. They have the one thing Steve could never prepare himself for, and he’s absolutely terrified for what they’re going to do. 

He was prepared for torture on himself. He was never prepared for torture on his omega. On his mate. On his home. 

Tony’s screams will forever haunt him. The terrible, grueling, torturous screams that he never knew Tony could be capable of creating. The agonizing cries. The heartbreaking calls. His omega whimpering at the mercy of their captors. Steve knows Tony tries to be strong. He knows Tony will hold on for as long as he can, but even a supersoldier would break under their treatment. 

It’s Tony’s pleading for help, begging for Steve to come save him, that finally makes Steve snap. After screaming himself hoarse for these bastards to stop and leave his omega alone, his mind finally breaks. The despair, the hopelessness, the fear, it all takes him into a full range. _Feral_. Where the adrenaline is almost none stop. His body goes numb. It moves on its own. Steve has no recollection of how he finally broke free of his binds, nor any recollection of what follows after, but he does recall the screams of the many alphas in the room. Many terrible, horrible screams of pain, gurgling in blood. A lot of blood. Metallic and blinding red in a sea of gray. 

He remembers being shot at, his body twitching at each impact, but not the pain. He remembers their weak attempts with their electric batons that had no effect. He remembers watching some flee for their lives. Watching them like a predator toying with its prey. None escaped.

He doesn’t remember the faces of the alphas he later learned he killed with his own fangs. What he does remember is biting down on the many faceless, black shadows that screamed and screamed and struggled under him. He remembers their cries. Loud and wordless. Intangible in their panic and powerless in his grip.

He never released them from his jaws until the faceless shadows stopped all movement. 

He does remember a brief moment after where all goes quiet. It terrified him. He remembers trying to call out, but the sounds he created were not human. He remembers searching the room, looking for his mate. Stepping over many faceless shadows until finally, _finally_ , his mate was there. He remembers not understanding why his mate didn’t move. Why his mate didn’t make a sound. 

Something in him screamed in agony. His mate remained motionless. Lifeless to the world. To him. He curled around his mate, protecting what little he could. Desperate to keep him close.

He doesn’t remember for how long he remained covering his mate’s body, but he does remember a faint heartbeat that kept him rooted. His hope enduring for as long as it beat. Then, more faceless shadows come in. 

The new faceless shadows that appear behaved differently this time. He remembers creating sounds at them, warning them not to get close. Growling. Showing his teeth. He remembers some listened. Most stayed far away. Against the walls. Others dared to come closer. Their voices low. He wouldn’t have that. He _couldn’t_ have that. His mate was in danger and he was willing to fight to the death. 

He made louder sounds. Gave false charges to keep them away. The faceless shadows of this time made more noises than those of before. They were calmer noises. Communicating. 

It didn’t matter to him. They were a threat and so he continued warning them. 

They stopped and moved away, finally listening. Finally leaving him and his mate alone. Then one of them shot him. One far to the left of him, hitting his exposed neck. He remembers it felt different this time. This shot didn’t bury itself within his skin like the others. This one stayed over the surface, sticking out innocently. He yanked it out in rage. 

He remembers attacking after that. Remembers the way they scattered like insects, trying to escape. One floated above him, out of his reach. Two rolled out of his way, quick and skilled. One wasn’t so lucky. Not fast enough like the others. Steve pinned the faceless shadow down, gripping tightly on its large appendage located on its back. Refusing to let go. He remembers it screaming as he went to bite, to tear at the soft flesh of its neck. Eager to taste the blood of his prey.

He remembers another faceless shadow appear behind him. Remembers how the second shadow held him back, wrapping a cold arm around his neck and pulling, using the other arm to thrust it between Steve and his prey. Instead of biting the flesh of the first shadow he had pinned, he bit the flesh of the second. The second shadow taking the bite intended for the first. 

The second shadow, that to his horror he later learned was Bucky, shoved his flesh arm into Steve’s path while his metal one held him back. Bucky redirecting the attack meant for Sam to himself, defending his mate and ready to risk his only good arm left to keep Sam safe.

If it hadn’t been for Bucky, Sam’s end would’ve been there, attempting to rescue his two teammates but instead getting killed by one. 

It had been Bucky that kept Steve restrained as the sedative strong enough to knock Thor out and tire the Hulk ran through Steve, eventually putting him to sleep.

Steve doesn’t remember much after that. 

He remembers waking up to his mate’s voice. To Tony telling him, “it’s okay. Steve, Honey. Come back to me.” 

Tony. His beautiful mate standing with the help of a crutch, a cast on his leg and a sling on his arm. His face, no longer covered in bruises, now painted with dark circles under his eyes. Tony looked a shell of his former self. Thinner than before. His usual bright and beautiful brown eyes now haunted. Red and puffy. Scared. Terrified. 

For himself, or for Steve? 

He remembers learning he’d been stuck in a feral state for nearly two months. Locked up in a cage meant for the Hulk while his mate recovered in the emergency room. He remembers crying into Tony’s arms when he learns what had happened during their captivity. Of the lives he had taken with his rage. Everything that had happened out of his complete control. With no say whatsoever of his actions. 

He remembers thanking his best friend for stopping him. Remembers apologizing to both him and Sam for what he had done, and _nearly_ had done to them. For almost taking the little happiness in Bucky’s life, and almost ending Sam’s. 

He apologies and apologies, asking for forgiveness and feeling so damn hollow when they give it to him. Feeling an open wound bleeding and throbbing in his heart. Bile rising in his throat each time the phantom taste of blood returns upon looking at Bucky’s arm. Looking at Sam’s throat. Of what could have happened. 

He both doesn’t remember and remembers too much about the events. He’s both thankful for not remembering his hand at ending the many lives of their captors, and horrified of what he’s capable of with no control over his body. Of what pure rage could do. 

Most of all, he’s grateful Tony is still with him and begs with all his might it never happens again.


	2. Chapter 2

_(Moodboard by Summerpipedream)_

~~~~~~~~~

It is said an alpha that goes feral is forever changed. Makes them violent. Makes them crave blood. Crave the hunt. Makes them too risky to keep in society. Brutal animals that need to be put down. 

An alpha that goes feral is simply too dangerous. To the public. To their family, their friends. To their mate. 

To themselves. 

Steve now understood what they meant by forever changed. It’s not gaining a ravenous taste for more blood. It’s not seeking the thrill of the hunt, having the power over the lives of others. It’s not the excitement of losing control and unleashing violence and fury, leaving behind their mark for all to see.

Going feral didn’t make Steve crave anything. It didn’t make him violent or make him have some insatiable appetite for blood. He didn’t seek power nor did he want to unleash violence on the innocent. Going feral opened his eyes to what an alpha is capable of. What _he_ is capable of. It made him realize the devastation he could create. The lives he could hurt. 

The savage animal he could become. 

What their ancestors had once been before. What they had to do to survive. 

It isn’t fighting for justice. It isn’t striking with his shield in the name of right and defending against wrong. With honor and pride. 

It’s just pure brutality. Barbarity. Savagery. It’s cruel.

It’s inhumane. 

What an alpha is capable of underneath. Just waiting to be released. Unlocked, upon an alphas desperation and fear. Looking to take over when Steve is at his weakest. 

A normal, modern alpha can leave a fistful of devastation to those around them upon their episode, but what of a supersoldier? What of Steve? What if he went feral again while out defending the city and his team doesn't stop him in time? What if civilians walked in his path as he rampaged around like a damn animal? 

What if children? What if an elderly, not fast enough to escape? What if a mother, just wanting to return to her family? A father, who is the only provider for his kids? Grandparents, who just wanted to see their grandchildren, but never saw their innocent trip to the store to buy them gifts as their last day on this planet? A family that will never get to say goodbye to each other. 

His teammates, who are doing their duty for the people, sacrificing their lives in order to stop the rampaging beast that used to be their leader. Who used to be the public’s hero. Who used to be Captain America. 

Tony, who would do everything to keep Steve safe, no matter if Steve saw him as an enemy and went off to break his arms and legs in an attempt to escape and kill some more. 

It terrifies Steve. Every night and every waking moment. It terrifies him. Living in fear of just when he’ll go feral again. The rampaging animal underneath his skin, wanting to be set free once more after finally having had a taste of freedom and the blood that came with it. The animal that sought violence and used its rage to achieve it. 

Two weeks after finally breaking through the rage and regaining control, Steve keeps himself locked in his old bedroom. Empty and unused after having moved in with his omega years prior. There’s only the bed with stiff and musty smelling covers. No clothes in the closet or drawers. Nothing in the bathroom except six rolls of toilet paper, his toothbrush and a now broken mirror. 

The television has remained untouched. Steve’s own thoughts are his source of entertainment and the view of the window his source of fear. The innocent people walking by, the couples, the children, the families, that could so easily be disrupted and destroyed by his own two hands.

These thoughts haunt him day and night. The flawed memories that he carried, giving him glimpses and leaving the carnage to his imagination. Steve couldn’t go on without knowing. His broken memories weren’t enough. The little bits he could recall haunting him, mocking him with what he could do. 

It would have been better if Steve hadn’t remembered anything, as opposed to being given so little and have his mind trying to fill in the gaps of what could’ve happened. Taunted by imagery that could’ve been and couldn’t, until his sanity would eventually snap. 

He had to see what exactly he did, instead of letting his mind create the worst. Against his teammate’s advice, Fury’s recommendation and Tony’s pleading, Steve requests the video footage of SHIELD’s and the Avengers’ rescue. The footage of his confinement in the Hulk’s cell. Of everything they had available. 

His mind came nowhere near close to what had occurred. 

The video he’s provided starts with SHIELD agents huddled together behind the Winter Soldier and War Machine on one side of a door. Black Widow, Hawkeye, Falcon and Thor on the other. The Hulk can be heard rampaging in the background with the sounds of gunfire accompanying him. 

War Machine calls it and they all quickly move in, bursting through the door and all readying their weapons. What they find even leaves Winter and Widow in shock. 

Steve stares at the screen in horror as he sees himself stand over the unconscious form of Tony, surrounded by bodies upon bodies, blood and gore. He’s on all fours. His face twisted with madness and dotted with red. His eyes dark and his golden hair covered in red splatter. His suit torn, filled with bullet holes. Filled with an amount that would kill a man and should’ve killed Steve. He releases an inhuman growl at their arrival. 

It makes them all freeze, including Steve. His eyes can’t look away from the screen. 

“Oh, my God, Steve,” Widow is not seen, but her voice is crystal clear, trembling at the shock of the sight. 

War Machine’s voice is equally heard trembling, even through his filtered system. “ _Tony_.” 

“Iron Man is down. I repeat, Iron Man is down. In need of urgent medical attention. Cap is…” Falcon’s voice trails off. 

Winter holds no such hesitation. “Steve’s gone feral. Everyone step back. We can’t spook him. Who’s got a tranq?” 

“I do,” an agent pipes up. 

“Give it to Hawkeye. We can’t afford to miss. Half of you stay outside or close to the wall. He’s going to attack when he’s hit. Don’t let him grab hold of you.” 

The camera pans the room as the agent moves closer to the wall. Slowly and carefully, revealing the exact state they were all in. Blood painted the walls. The bodies Steve had thrown after taking their lives were twisted in unnatural angles. Broken and red. All of their throats torn and mauled from Steve’s very jaws. 

Fout more join the agent against the wall. They avoid touching or stepping on anything. The other agents heed Winter’s advice and backtrack outside. Then the camera focuses on the Avengers again. Hawkeye now has the tranq gun, readying it as he, Widow and Winter get just a little closer to Steve’s form. Thor, Falcon and War Machine aren’t far behind. 

“Steve? Hey, Stevie, everything is all right. It’s me, Bucky. I’m here to help,” Winter soothes as he takes the lead, hands held up meaning no harm. He’s trying to get on-screen Steve’s attention focused on him, but fails as Steve’s eyes flicker to everyone in the room, growling and bearing his teeth. “The team is all here, too. We’ve come to bring you both home. We just need to get to Tony, Steve. He needs the hospital. You’re putting him in danger.” 

Steve watches himself give a false charge, making the Avengers flinch and take a step back. When he stays put they continue, albeit even slower than before. 

“I will hold him after Hawkeye strikes,” Thor says, taking a large step to get ahead of them, but stops when Falcon holds him back. 

“No, he’s already filled with bullet holes as is. Let’s not make him thrash around and cause him more damage. These tranqs put you down quick. They should put him to sleep in minutes.” 

“It only takes a cornered animal seconds to slaughter.” There’s a grave tone in Thor’s voice. One that suggests it’s not meant to be a simple saying. 

“He’s _not_ an animal,” Winter hisses. “This is Steve and he’s protecting his omega, who can die at any second if we don’t _hurry_.” 

“I’ve got a shot,” Hawkeye says, aiming the gun at Steve. “Better get back.”

They all do as told and take three steps back before Hawkeye fires. Then it all happens so quick. The agent with the camera panics the moment Steve lunges forward. Everyone scatters, desperately avoiding him. The footage resembles the film phenomenon of found footage. The orders to run. The panicked sounds. The camera barely able to distinguish anything as the monster on screen chases after the films cannon fodder. 

Steve is able to see himself lunge at War Machine, who is not as fast as the others in fleeing, but the Colonel simply flies up with the help of the armors thrusters and stays out of reach. This only angers Steve, who changes direction and aims for Hawkeye and Widow. The footage makes it hard to see their expressions and Steve is left to wonder what they felt in that exact moment as they watched their leader come barreling down with the intent to kill them. 

Could they ever look at him the same way again, after having seen him stare them down with pure malice and rage? With the face of a killer?

They roll out of his way, just as Steve’s memories depicted, but this causes his heart to speed up for what happens next is what he fears the most to see. Steve on screen continues down to his next target. To Falcon, who isn’t quick enough to fly up like Thor. His gear takes a second too long to lift him up and that’s all Steve needed to grab hold of him. 

The feral animal on-screen drags Falcon to him, tearing at the wing trying to act as a shield. Steve covers his mouth as Falcon screams for him to stop. Everyone does. The Agents. Widow, Hawkeye, Thor, War Machine and Winter. They scream Falcon’s name. Falcon screams Steve’s name as he’s unable to lift his arms up to defend his neck, pinned against the ground and the broken wing. Steve watches himself open his jaws, ready to bite and tear at Falcon. 

Winter throws himself between them. His metal arm wraps around Steve’s neck, yanking him back while he shoves his good arm in Steve’s jaws without a second thought. Through the footage, Steve can see the pain Winter is in. The way his face winces. How his good arm tries to recoil, wanting to get away, but unable to as Steve refuses to let go. How blood trickles out from the armor he wears and between Steve’s teeth. How Steve tries to shake his head in order to tear at the flesh and Winter frantically trying to stop him by tightening his hold. 

They remain locked like this until finally, _finally_ , Steve’s eyes flutter close. At long last sedated, slumping on the ground with Winter still gripping him. 

Nobody moves even after this. Not until Winter confirms he’s out. The camera gets closer to Falcon and Winter. Falcon has to crawl from under Steve’s slumped form. Winter has to pry his arm out of Steve’s jaws. A crescent mark is left on the armor. Still bleeding and very painful to look at. 

Steve feels bile rise up as he recalls the taste of it. The taste of his best friend’s blood in his mouth. He has to pause the footage to run to the restroom and throw up nothing. Nothing but the water he forces himself to drink. His appetite having been long gone. 

He stays there. Slumped against the door in the dark room. Barefoot, cold and trembling. The footage has done nothing for his peace of mind. There’s still more missing from his memories and now he carries imagery of the carnage of that room. The many bodies violently torn and thrown about and he covered in their blood. Tony’s broken body unmoving underneath him. The fear shown on Sam’s face as Steve tried to take his life. The pain on Bucky’s as he tried to protect his home. 

There’s still the footage of his confinement, but he can’t bring himself to see it. Not yet. Not after this. 

He needs to rest. What little he can get anyway. His racing mind keeps him up and finding any sleep is hard to do when he fears he’ll lose control the moment he’s unconscious. What if he goes feral in the tower? In his very home with only his family as possible collateral damage? 

It’s obvious what he’s capable of. What will stop him from rampaging? 

It’s said an alpha that goes feral is forever changed. They’re right. An alpha that goes feral will understand what exactly they’re capable of without their control and the suffering they can easily leave behind. 

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed! 
> 
> Drop a hi over at my [Tumblr](http://naferty.tumblr.com//)  
> 


End file.
